I am back and writing 100 Word Challenges again!
The class took a bit of a break because we had events and stuff on, so this is my first one in about 5 weeks.
The prompt was to add ...as the smoke cleared... in our writing.
Please read and comment on my work!
The choking smoke stuck to my throat and soon poured into my lungs; it was stinging my eyes so that the only thing I could only see was the faint fuzzy outline of his body through the smoke and tears. The mans strong voice was slowly being drowned in piercing screams that were shattering my brain along with all the confusion.
I was spluttering everywhere; and as I dragged my leg forward to take my next step my body gave in to the pain and distress.
But that was not the end, as something was revealed as the smoke cleared.
What a great sense of suspense you have set up with this writing. You have used some evocative adjectives and verbs to imbue your writing with a sense of urgency. And if it really is not the end of your story then I look forward to the next installment.
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